You Are Doing Better Than You Think
Are You Being Too Hard on Yourself? Here's What Your Doctor Actually Sees
"When was the last time you actually gave yourself credit for how far you've come?"
This episode is a pep talk, and honestly, it's one that's been a long time coming. After seeing patient after patient in clinic recently, all struggling with the same quiet, exhausting pattern of being too hard on themselves, it felt like the right moment to step back from guest interviews and just have a real conversation about something that doesn't get said enough: you are probably doing better than you think you are.
In this episode, we're getting into the mindset shifts that actually move the needle — why metabolic adaptation and appetite changes are normal physiology and not personal failures, why the all-or-nothing approach keeps so many people stuck, and why comparison might be quietly stealing more of your progress than anything else. There are also two songs making it onto your playlist today, because sometimes a good track does what a therapy session can't. Whether you're in a plateau, feeling discouraged, or just coming off a hard week, this one's for you.
Why Metabolic Adaptation Makes Weight Loss Harder Over Time
One of the most common conversations I have with patients happens when the scale starts creeping back up a little. They come in feeling discouraged, like they've undone all their progress. I recently saw a patient who had regained about 10 pounds after going through a stressful season, and she was really frustrated by it. But when we looked at the bigger picture together, she was still down 70 pounds from where she started — around 25% of her body weight. Her blood pressure looked fantastic, her blood sugar had normalized, her cholesterol was in a great range, and she felt active and healthy overall. Like, everything that actually mattered for her health had improved dramatically, even with the small regain.
Part of what was happening was something called metabolic adaptation, which happens to pretty much everyone after weight loss. As body weight decreases, the body also starts lowering how much energy it burns. The brain interprets weight loss less as a wellness goal and more as a potential threat, so the body responds by trying to conserve energy. This is why people often hit plateaus even when they're still doing the same habits that helped them lose weight in the first place. Over time, the body reaches a new balance where calorie intake and energy output match again, making further weight loss much slower.
That's why some weight regain does not automatically mean failure. The scale is only one measure of progress, and honestly, not always the most important one. If someone's blood sugar is healthier, blood pressure is controlled, mobility is better, energy is higher, and quality of life has improved, those things still count in a major way. Weight management is rarely linear, and expecting the body to cooperate perfectly forever usually creates unnecessary guilt. The real goal is building a healthier, more sustainable life — not trying to permanently outsmart normal human physiology.
When Hunger Fights Back: Understanding Appetite Adaptation
Another thing that happens after weight loss is appetite adaptation, which can honestly feel even more emotional for a lot of people. Hunger tends to increase while fullness signals decrease, meaning the body is actively trying to encourage eating again. This is why people often say they feel like food suddenly becomes louder in their brain after losing weight. The body is literally sending stronger signals to restore that lost weight — and that has nothing to do with willpower.
This is also why treatments like GLP-1 medications and metabolic surgery can be so helpful. They work by reducing hunger signals and helping people feel satisfied with less food, which makes weight loss feel more manageable and less mentally exhausting. But over time, appetite suppression can shift a little. Someone who once felt almost no hunger on a medication might later notice that their appetite settles into a more moderate range. Still improved, still manageable — but maybe requiring a bit more intention again around meals, protein intake, movement, or tracking habits.
That adjustment phase can feel discouraging, especially if the number on the scale ticks upward. But some regain during this stage is actually very normal physiology. It does not mean the body is "broken," and it definitely does not mean the person failed. The more important question is whether health and quality of life have improved overall. If someone is more active, sleeping better, managing chronic conditions more effectively, and feeling more present in their life, then real progress is still happening.
How Black-and-White Thinking Gets in the Way of Progress
A pattern I see all the time with patients is how quickly progress gets dismissed the moment things stop looking “perfect.” Someone misses workouts for a week, eats differently than planned, or falls out of a routine, and suddenly it feels like everything is ruined. But health doesn’t actually work that way. We don’t have some exact formula for perfect eating or perfect exercise. What we do know is that moving more helps. The general recommendation is around 150 minutes of intentional movement per week with a couple days of strength training, and more movement tends to improve health outcomes even further. But honestly, the biggest thing is consistency over time. If someone is moving more than they used to, that matters. A lot.
This is where black-and-white thinking becomes such a problem. People start believing that if they can’t work out exactly the way they used to, there’s no point in trying at all. Like, if they can’t run, they stop walking. If they can’t get to the gym for an hour, they skip movement completely. But every form of movement still counts. Walking the dogs counts. Physical therapy counts. Mobility work counts. Pool exercises count. Even during difficult seasons, doing something is still supporting health in a meaningful way. The same thing happens with food too. After strict dieting, many people swing between extremes — either eating “perfectly” or feeling like they’ve completely failed. And usually, neither extreme is sustainable long-term.
The middle ground is where real progress tends to happen. A balanced approach — eating nutritious foods most of the time while still allowing flexibility — is usually far more maintainable than chasing perfection. That might mean prioritizing protein, fruits, vegetables, and whole grains regularly while still enjoying dessert or takeout sometimes without guilt attached to it. Sustainable health is rarely dramatic. It’s showing up most days, making the next best choice, and understanding that one meal, one missed workout, or one off week does not erase progress. Every day is another opportunity to keep going, and honestly, that mindset tends to carry people much further than perfection ever does.
Comparison Is the Thief of Joy — And Your Health Journey Deserves Better
Comparison is one of the quietest ways we sabotage our own progress — and it shows up everywhere on a health journey. Whether it's scrolling past someone's perfectly prepped meals online, watching a friend drop weight faster on the same medication, or measuring yourself against a partner who seems to be getting better results, that comparison pulls your focus away from what's actually happening for you. The truth is, you never fully know why someone else is responding differently. There are so many physiological reasons — uncontrolled type 2 diabetes, hormonal differences, sleep, stress, genetics — that make one person's journey look completely different from another's. And interestingly, while men have historically lost more weight than women in many interventions, GLP-1 medications are actually shifting that dynamic, with women showing stronger results in clinical trials. Someone else's success doesn't cancel yours. A 5 to 10% weight loss is a meaningful health improvement. Better blood work is a win. Moving more is a win. Focus on what's actually happening for you.
That said, comparing yourself to other people is only half the problem — the other half is comparing yourself to a past version of yourself. This comes up constantly: "I just want to get back to where I was at 25." But that version of you had no kids, two free hours a day to exercise, and a completely different body. You've lived through things since then. Your body has changed. Holding yourself to that standard isn't motivation — it's just a setup for feeling like you're always falling short. A much more useful question, borrowed from Brené Brown's Rising Strong, is simply: are you doing the best you can right now, given your circumstances? Not the best you've ever done. Not the best someone else is doing. Just your best, today, with the life you actually have. There's always room to grow, and support from a doctor, coach, or medication can make things easier — but the starting point is recognizing that you're probably already doing more than you're giving yourself credit for.
Which brings me to two songs worth adding to your playlist immediately. The first is You Can't Stop Me by Andy Mineo — a clean hip-hop track with two lyrics that hit differently when you're in a tough headspace: "If I quit, the only way I lose" and "My biggest enemy is me, and even I can't stop me." Both are honest reminders that the finish line is really just about showing up and keep going — and that the main thing standing between you and progress is usually you. The second is Alicia Keys' Good Job — a completely different vibe, but just as powerful. It's warm, piano-driven, and half the lyrics are literally just telling you that you're doing a good job. On a hard day, that's sometimes exactly what you need to hear.
If any part of this resonated with you, the full episode goes even deeper — more patient stories, the complete mindset breakdowns, and both songs in context. Give it a listen wherever you get your podcasts. And if it speaks to you, share it with someone who needs a reminder that they're doing better than they think.
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